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  1. Surveys
  2. 2011
  3. October
  4. Q
  5. QuestionPro : Event Satisfaction
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Never mind all the blather if you don't know what a survey is then have a good day-otherwise just scroll down, click ok where it says "I agree that human beings are devoid of the maturity, rationality, and ability to be responsible for anything-including themselves.

Your survey responses will be sent out into space as part of a distress beacon where hopefully some intelligent life form will grasp it's meaning and take action to save the earth from the destructive tendencies of the human species. . Your information will not be coded and will not remain confidential. If you have questions at any time about the survey or the procedures, you should grab your butt and bellow. Never ever attempt to contact [Name of Survey Researcher] at [Phone Number] or by email at the email address not specified below.

Start with the survey now by clicking on the I am a human and therefore a self destructive species button below.
 
 
 
How did you learn that the earth was being killed by humans or do you prefer to remain in denial?
 
Through the media (newspaper, magazine, trade journal, billboards, etc)
 
Business network
 
Membership announcement
 
Through a friend
 
On the internet
 
While passing the event location
 
Other
 
 
 
 
How likely is it that traditional ways of thinking contribute to the earth's environmental problems?.
 
I don't understand
 
I like to pretend I don't understand
 
The sooner we destroy the planet the quicker we can return to fantasy island
 
I hate planets, life and everything physical
 
I'm an environmentalist so I'm one of the good people I just watch as everything turns to caca
 
Other
 

 
 
 
What is your level of satisfaction with the current state of health of the planet?
 
Very satisfied
 
Somewhat satisfied
 
Neutral
 
Somewhat dissatisfied
 
Very dissatisfied
 
 
Please indicate why you think optimism is NOT also insanity.
who cares Someone cares but they're fools Denial Moderately Panicked Full Blown Anxiety
Denial is fun
Waterworld was a good movie and I want to live it
Environmentalists are so smug
I'm human; therefore illogical is my way
The Bible proves science is poo poo
I can be optimistic because I'm going to LaLa Land
Profile of other attendees
 
 
 
How likely would it be for you to return to this planet if you could (even as a non human)?
 
Very Likely
 
Somewhat Likely
 
Neutral
 
Somewhat Unlikely
 
Very Unlikely
 
 
 
Finally even though you belong to the irresponsible human species would you considered taking away all their rights and putting them in confinement somewhere where they can't touch or hurt anything?
 
Absolutely
 
Yes, with no hesitation
 
Ah, can I see the accommodations?
 
I have to hesitate because I'm enjoying the plundering
 
I remain arrogantly pro destruction
 
 
 
Which of our other events are you aware of? Select all that apply.
 
Bringing about the All New (not improved) Medieval Times
 
Failed attempts to bring human destruction to outer space
 
Fun for Billionaires; Roman circus for everyone else
 
Impoverishing earth centric cultures for fun and profit
 
Sucking the earth and all life on it DRY!
 
I am unaware of these events.

 
 
How interested are you in the following events?
Very Uninterested Somewhat Uninterested Neutral Somewhat Interested Very Interested
{EVENT 1}
{EVENT 2}
{EVENT 3}
{EVENT 4}
{EVENT 5}
 
 
 
Do you have any suggestions for improving the events that we offer?
   
 
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