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Hello: You are invited to participate in our survey. In this survey, approximately 23.89 people will be asked to complete a survey that asks questions about POOP. It will take approximately 999999 minutes to complete the questionnaire. Your participation in this study is completely voluntary. There are no foreseeable risks associated with this project. However, if you feel uncomfortable answering any questions, you can withdraw from the survey at any point. It is very important for us to learn your opinions. Your survey responses will be strictly confidential and data from this research will be reported only in the aggregate. Your information will be coded and will remain confidential. If you have questions at any time about the survey or the procedures, you may contact Sauron at 666-666-6666 or by email at [email protected]. Thank you very much for your time and support. Please start with the survey now by clicking on the Continue button below.
 
 
 
How often do you poop?
 
Secondly
 
Minutely
 
Hourly
 
Daily
 
Weekly
 
Monthly
 
Quarterly
 
Annually
 
Bi-Annually
 
Never
 
 
 
In accordance with the Bristol stool scale, what types of poop do you most often experience?
 
#1- Tiny pellets, painfully hard and difficult to pass, literally rock-hard
 
#2- Larger pellets, some stuck together, requires great effort to pass
 
#3- Almost perfect, but still takes some effort to excrete, slightly too firm
 
#4- THE PERFECT POOP. Soft and silky smooth, slides out gracefully like a ballerina on a water slide.
 
#5- Almost perfect but a little too squishy, some ripped-looking edges
 
#6- Runny with some substance
 
#7- Liquid. Straight up.

 
 
Rate your personal diet:
Healthiness
Unhealthiness
 
 
 
Do you fear pooping in public restrooms?
 
 
 
What is the longest you've ever gone without pooping?
   
 
 
 
Please rank (1-3) the following in order of interest:
"I prefer to poop in..."
The toilet
The shower
The woods
The lake
The poopdeck
 
 
 
What types of poop-based exclamatory phrases do you use?
 
Poop!
 
Crap!
 
Sh**!
 
Fartknocker!
 
Other
 

 
 
 
When do you most enjoy pooping?
 
 
 
What are your pooping tips for fellow Americans?